This photo is personal property of the testimony writer Dr. Nia Pole
This is a weekly staple affording our readers the opportunity to share their personal testimony regarding abuse, violence, disease, family, happiness, faith, jail time, obesity, mistakes made in your youth, to name a few. In other words let your testimony be a blessing to someone else attempting to overcome a particular avenue in life.
This photo is personal property of the testimony writer Dr. Nia Pole
Unmarried mothers of black boys are demonized in America. Articles, researchers, news programs suggest we give birth to degenerate thugs and drug dealers. Supposedly, we are mostly welfare recipients living off of hardworking, tax paying citizens. Prison populations swell and American cities are crime ridden because of us. Our children are unhealthy, depressed, and failing school. I cringe when I hear statistics about single mothers because that is not my truth.
This photo is personal property of the testimony writer Dr. Nia Pole
Life as an unmarried mother has not been easy and I’ve definitely made mistakes. Maalik’s father has never been present or active, yet I am raising an intelligent, moral, and mannerly young man. While Maalik has only had one constant parent in his life, I am not a single mother because I have never been alone. My family, friends, and other angels have stepped in to form a village that surrounds and cares for him. And of course, God has led me in ways I can’t even comprehend.
This photo is personal property of the testimony writer Dr. Nia Pole
One Sunday in 1998, I visited a mega church in Inglewood, California. I hadn’t attended before, but I knew of its reputation in the community. I believe God sent me there because I needed inspiration; I was college educated, gainfully employed, but depressed, broke, and disappointed at the choices I made. That day, I went to church and left with one simple directive that changed my outlook about my job as Maalik’s mother. The pastor, whom I don’t remember, on a specific date I cannot provide, urged parents to whisper in the ears of their baby boys, even when they were sleeping. We were supposed to tell that baby that he would be great one day. I actually went home, waited until Maalik went to sleep and whispered in his ear.
This photo is personal property of the testimony writer Dr. Nia Pole
My life didn’t magically change, but I felt empowered be a good mother and make him better than I could ever be. Fourteen years later, God’s plan is materializing. His wisdom sent me to that church, that day, to hear that sermon. Maalik, now 15, is an intelligent, moral, and mannerly young man. I don’t have to whisper in his ears anymore; I look him in the eyes and tell him I am proud of him every day. I attend every single award assembly for his excellent grades, advanced orchestra concert, and honor society induction. I scream his name louder than any other parent every time he competes at a swim meet.
This photo is personal property of the testimony writer Dr. Nia Pole
So I emphatically declare: I am not single mother or baby mama! Call me educated, educator, daughter, sister, cousin, niece, and friend. Call me Dr. Pole (yes, I went back to school and earned a doctoral degree). But most importantly, call me Maalik’s mother!
Written by Dr. Nia Pole